She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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