sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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