I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
