Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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