i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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