where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's great music for shaving your balls
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
its liver damage thursday
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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