plz talk dirty to me
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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