four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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