I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This house was built for laser tag.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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