belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
