No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
