so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the day after is always just damage control
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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