Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
