so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
