you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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