I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
