i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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