We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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