on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
