I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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