We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize