I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
