was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
