His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
