I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
