I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
