She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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