Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
