So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
