found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
