My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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