Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
