I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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