you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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