Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
