As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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