turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
