he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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