Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
