Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize