Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
