He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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