Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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