I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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