I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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