It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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