I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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