I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
