fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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