We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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