ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
