Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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