Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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