Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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