The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
