just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
