I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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