I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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