Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
