I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
