I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
