Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
